1 John 4:19 We love because he first loved us.

Those last days I have realized, that sometimes, to please people I overstepped God's word. To protect somebody I lied. To be accepted, I stole chocolate (long ago), to be loved I had a boyfriend ( long ago, too.) I didn't know God as I do know. Though only he knows many mistakes I am still making. I thought, I did these things out of love for those around me. God's word says that love is only love if it is molded after God's love. Of course, I would love to blame it on peer-pressure. And mostly, I had no joy coming out of it, which is a really bad part in it. This now is my point. I did these things to please and protect and be accepted. But they brought me no joy. On the contrary, I feel even today ashamed about it, so many years after the events. Knowing, that under heavy pressure I might fail Jesus again. But he loves me. Paitently, like making friends with this cat or with a dog or a horse, he loves me and teaches me to be loved. This is no easy part, to let love form and transform me. Romans 12:9 Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. This verse says, love is seen in action. It cannot remain hidden for long. Actions will tell the tale. If there is love, it will show in what is done. Though I may have been searching for God even in those days, I didn't love him, for my actions were evil. I harmed those I tried to protect, probably. I didn't stand up for what I knew was right. God's word is right. To mould the life after God's word is to love him. 1 Peter 4:8 Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. His love has covered my sins. Now, I am called to love. Like you all, like everybody else. There is no true love outside of God. Motives may vary, but man is in himself unable to love and do a truly good thing outside of God's grace. So, please, let yourselves be loved by God and love one another with a holy love. Ephesians 5:1 Follow God’s example, therefore, as dearly loved children.