1 Corinthians 8:3 But whoever loves God is known by God.

Sometimes I feel like that. Shattered. Floating, falling. But I know, God knows me, he sees me and he holds me in his hand. I can never fall out of it. That is quite a comfort. But quite terrifying as well. For He who sees all, knows all, having a hold on my tiny bit of being is frightening. Like contact with powerful people often is. Why would he do that? Hold me? And what for? Will that potter make me a thing I can agree with? Not that he has to... .

Psalm 145:14 The Lord upholds all those [of His own] who are falling and raises up all those who are bowed down.

I have often felt like falling. But never as much as lately, when everything I have been working for seems to be taken from me. All things I have worked hard for achieving are eluding me, as if given to somebody else. It feels as if I were falling and falling and falling.  With nobody I would have thought of to be there. All alone.

With nobody I would have thought of to be there. All alone.  - But this is not written to complain. The more I fall, the more I become grateful for the falling. There is a beauty in it, that I didn't know about.  I have to trust that God will catch me somehow. Even if I will get wet. Or have been getting wet. I'll do it again. God is awesome and great. The world has become a sweet and meaningful place by falling, by having to give up my own importance. (Even if I am still choking every now and than, I pray God will see me through the choking as well, I feel like a cow to always chew and rechew things... he knows, he can save.)